Why oh why is it so difficult???

As I think I have explained, I work for a 'Government Agency' or a local police force to you and me!!!, and part of my job involves the registration of foreign nationals on behalf of the UK border agency and Home Office. Unless you are an EC national, like most countries, most foreign nationals require permission to come to the UK to live, study or work. So they apply for permission and then they have a little line on their entry clearance / residence permit (visa) which says something along the lines of report to police within 7 days of arrival. The border agency then helpfully stamp the afore mentioned visa with a date stamp on the day they enter the country and hey presto, the countdown starts.

Now I should point out that EC nationals are not required to follow this process, technically there are no borders between us and our EC neighbours (just a lot of water in our case) and certain other nationals, although they require permission to be here, in the form of a visa, they also don't have to register - those from Commonwealth countries (we do so love the empire!!), Americans and Japanese are also strangely exempt - don't ask me, I just follow the rules. It is the same for UK nationals when they live in foreign lands, I have had to do it myself.........had an aliens registration card with all my details on that I was supposed to carry at all times (OK I confess that I didn't all the time!!), so it is not just the UK being horrid.

Anyway, foreign national gets permission to come to the UK, so up they rock at one of our fine entry points (airport being the usual one), present their passport with afore mentioned visa and the stamp is applied. This then tells me (and my colleagues) when and where they arrived - all help is welcomed!!. So, then they have seven days - yes, that is seven days, or one week of you prefer, to find their local police station and report. OK, we don't always make it easy I do admit, not all police stations will do this. For example my police force, you have to go to what we call a Tier 3 station (we have more training - there is an extra book!!!), but generally, you don't have to go too far.

So they successfully find the police station and then they have to fill in a form (boring info, like who you are, where do you live and why are you here - you know, the kinda stuff Big Brother likes to know!), produce a passport photo (of yourself is always good), a letter from your college or employer to prove you are actually doing what you said you would be when you applied for the visa (which have more helpful little hints on, like why they were issued - student, dependant partner, migrant....etc, etc), and £34 in cash (no cheques, credit cards and we don't give change, and coz we are the police, it has to be exact money, as if you give us more and say 'keep the change' that could be seen as you trying to bribe the police - shock horror, first plane home then!!!)...........you with me so far?

You have managed all of the above, we check and process the paperwork, take lots of photo copies of your passport, visa etc, take the money (we always give a receipt) and away you go and hopefully, providing we have done our job properly and not missed something or forgotten something, our internal mail or the Royal Mail contrive not to lose the paperwork, you hopefully get your PRC (Police Registration Certificate) back within three to four weeks (sometimes it might be a bit longer - like when we are very busy). As an added bonus we stamp your passport by the visa and write the number of the PRC that you will be issued within the stamp, so you can now prove you have done as you are told. Bargain!!!

Now, if you come down on the eighth day, or ninth, or even after two weeks, we don't really mind, you have made the effort and we understand that life gets in the way. We don't even turn to much of a hair at a month, we're kind like that. We do also know that when you get your entry clearance (visa) the terms are explained to you in your mother tongue, so even if your English is not fluent (and we all know English is difficult - some of us can't even speak it properly), you know what you are supposed to do.

Now once you have the prized PRC you have to keep it updated, which basically means that you have seven days (we like the number seven) to tell us of any changes that might affect your status, so if you move, change jobs/college, get married, divorced, new passport, new visa, go home for more than two months, you have to come and tell us. We then fill in a form (we love our forms!!) and then make a note on your PRC. This then tells the border agency / Home Office you are doing as you are told, and they like to check, so when you apply for a new visa, they ask to see your PRC.

And here we get to the problem. A lot pf people know that they are above the UK law, these rules don't apply to them, they are too busy, they can't find the police station, they can't be bothered.... etc, etc, so they don't come a register, pay their £34 and pass go. Then suddenly, in order to get a new visa they need a PRC, and shock horror, they have to come and pay us a visit and then the questions start.

'You have been here a year, why haven't you registered?'
'I didn't know I had too; I didn't understand; I couldn't find the police station; I thought I had; I forgot and it's not my problem' are all excuses I have heard. Now some people are apologetic but some a just not bothered and don't actually seem to understand what all the fuss is about. We have the usual responses like 'it says here in your passport; it is explained to you in your own language; it is your problem' but for some people they are just not bothered. I have even been told 'Just get on with it and register me'. I managed to remain calm (those who know me will applaud) resisted the urge to commit a crime (like murder) and just content myself with saying
'Actually this requirement to register within seven days is part of the terms of your stay in the United Kingdom. Failure to do so can result in a £5,000 fine or you can be denied another visa or you can be deported!' The look on their faces is all the reward we need (ha ha). Strangely enough, it is the threat that they won't get another visa that seems to create the most concern, guess having to go home and explain why they can't complete their studies or employment is a bigger worry than actually being deported.

I know it is a pain (and yes I have been their remember), but when you go to another country you are a guest and unless you have diplomatic immunity, you have to abide by the rules (you are supposed to if you have diplomatic immunity, but you won't generally go to prison here if you don't, you just go home). All you have to do is pop into the police station, fill in the form, pay the fee and hey ho, all is fine. Don't forget to come back if you change anything and everyone is happy!! It is not difficult, we will be happy, you will be happy, and the Home office will be happy - win win all round then.

So, why oh why do so many people find it so difficult???

Oh no - the internet is broken!

Well I was going to post again on Wednesday, to relay the traumas we (hubby & I) had with public transport, but BT decided to stuff up the broadband, so I was cut off from the world. AARRGH!!

Wednesday dawned nice and warm and husband and I were set to 'pop' into London. Hubby had to go for a medical for a new job - I said we were working on get him out of hospitality, and as I was on a Rest Day (what the police call days off!) I thought I would keep him company - save him getting lost as his sense of direction is not always good. So with the help of the internet (it was working then), I figured that it would be quicker (and cheaper) to drive to Amersham and get the tube (metro for you overseas types) rather than go to Beaconsfield and get the overground train. Imagine my delight when we get to Amersham to discover that the Metropolitan line (that's the maroon one) drivers are on strike over something (someone got the sack I think) so we have to take the overland train after all and so it's not cheaper.

Anyway, I know that the rail company do a bargain price ticket of there are two or more of you travelling together, so I ask for one of those. 'Oh no, I can't sell you one of those, we don't do those, that's only from a mainline station.' I am told - well where is the mainline station I ask - 'not here, this is run by London Underground (that'll be the lot on strike then). And why was this not on Tfl's website???

So, rather poorer later, we get the overground into London. Only advantage is, one of the few helpful people at Amersham station advised us not to got to Marylebone, but get off at Harrow on the Hill and then we could get the bus to Harrow and Wealdstone - where we had to be. Buses in London now have a very natty display system and voice over telling you what the next stop is, so no need to ask the driver to tell you were to get off. Obviously not knowing this I did ask the driver who looked at me as if I was a tourist and said 'the bus will tell you!'. Ok, took me a while to work out what he meant - but we got there!

Hubby had medical and we are please to say he passed - BP (that's blood pressure not British Petroleum - thought I guess both are essential to life!) was a bit of a worry, his can be a touch high, but was not a problem. So armed with the relevant paperwork later we went to celebrate in McDonalds (sod the diet) and the begin the trauma of the return journey. Bus bit was fine, but waited for ages for a train, which turned out to be the tube, but we were returned safely to the car at Amersham!

Never mind, we were in joyous mood as we returned home and then disaster struck. For some reason I decided to access the internet via my ipod - works fine on the wireless at home - but no, not working. Then we tried other things, hubby's ipod, laptops - no, all dead, no link to the outside world. Hubby fiddles around checking all the systems - unplugging things etc etc, while I get straight on the phone to BT to report fault. When I eventually get through - many 'If you want....................press 1' later I get through to a call centre that is not in England - India I do believe.

Now the chappy I spoke to was very nice and did his best to be helpful, but a great chunk of what I was saying seemed to go over his head. I explained that we had no broadband (my worst nightmare) and there was a very loud clicking nose on the phone line, which in my limited knowledge of telephone systems, I believed was a fault on the line and this was knocking out the broadband. He helpfully offered to test the line and noted I was calling on my mobile and said he would call me back. Great, and call me back he did about two minutes later. But they were not sure where the fault was, it might be them, it might be you I was told. We will send an engineer but if it is you, it will cost you £120. Some choice, you want the internet back and it might cost you £120. I let my feelings be known - along the lines 'It's not me it's you, or if it's not the line, it's the hub and that belongs to you, so I am paying nothing!'

So engineer was agreed and I had the prospect of 72 hours without connection to the outside world. I then asked if I would get a credit for the line rental and broadband I was paying for, even though I couldn't use them. Oh yes, you get compensation if we haven't fixed it in 72 hours - does that seem fair? You pay for something you don't get, and because you then have to use internet cafe's etc, the problem actually costs you more!!! And the icing on the cake - to be told that I could track their progress on fixing my fault ON LINE. If only!

Anyway, imagine my delight when I got home yesterday and the broadband light was flashing a lovely blue (working) as opposed to orange (broken). Great, I take it all back, BT all is wonderful. I called them and asked had the engineer been or had the fault fixed itself. I was assured the engineer had been and the problem was the broadband and it was now fixed - call centre in India again.

Imagine my horror to come home today and the broadband light was flashing orange again!! Another call to BT and I have better things to do with my time pressing 1 for this and 2 for that then waiting in a queue because 'they are very busy'! Well least I spoke to a very nice lady in the UK, who explained the problem was not fixed (yes, I had worked that out) and the problem was with the broadband and the fault was at the exchange! It is going to be another 48 hours at least, but thank god I am 'kitteh' (see lolcats) sitting tonight in a house that BT has not managed to sever the connection to the outside world to, so can rant to my hearts content!

Time to sign off I think, so I can enjoy 'surfing' while I can :)

A brave new world!

Some time ago a friend told me I should start a blog (she liked my status updates on Facebook and I do have the occasional witty turn), but I resisted the urge.......who would want to read what I had written for a start, and then we got on to what would I actually write. So, I thanked her for her kind comment and declined, thinking no more about it.

So here we are several months down the line, what has changed? Well nothing really, only I have been reading various other peoples over the last few weeks (doing some research for something else) and thought why not give it a go, so here we are.

Firstly I guess I should explain a bit about myself, for those who want to know. I am English (not British, as if the Scots and Welsh can differentiate, then so can I!), married with no children (yet, maybe!), though I do have a hamster, whose name is Amber, and when I figure out how this blog thing works, I might even add a photo or her. I am the right side of 40 - just, and live in the Thames Valley. I work, full time, for a government agency (which is just another way of saying Police), so yes I am one of those rich civil servant types who get to retire with a pot of gold (ha ha - in reality I get paid peanuts for being sworn at, threatened and abused and the only thing I can look forward to is a final salary pension which the government are now trying to change!), but I do actually love my job, despite all that.

I used to work in the 'hospitality' (what's so bloody hospitable about long hours and crap pay I don't know) industry, but after about sixteen years (and two redundancies later) I finally saw the light and escaped to the 'Real World' (which is how us hospitality types refer to what the rest of you call normal life!), hence the title of my blog. Hubby is still in it, but we are working on that one. One thing about having spent so long working shifts and weekends, I certainly did not want a Monday to Friday, nine to five job, and hence my current job is shift work, but we do an eight week pattern and can view our duties over 900 days in advance, which makes things like trying to plan to have a life a lot easier!

What else can I tell you about me?? I do my bit for society, well run a Brownie unit if that counts (blame my friend who roped me in while I was under the influence of lots of wine), I try to scuba diva (not very often - bit of a wimp when it comes to cold water, like what our little island is surrounded by), am a bit of a scifi fan (well TV shows - yeah, I know not very girlie, but those who know me would never call me a girlie girl) and have family spread in various parts of the world. I spent my teenage years in the Netherlands -which was great :), plus a couple of years in Austria when I was little.

So here we are, 'A brave new world' as the title of the post suggests - or me on the web! Maybe I should have called it 'A scary new world' though not sure if that is for me or those reading it!!!

Well I think I shall post this now, as I have various other mundane tasks (cleaning) to do before going to my weigh in.